Its My Fault and I'm Sorry
by Alkoi
Summary: Things have calmed down for a while, and Bro's death has started to break down Dave's walls, John finds Dave, and watches his love break apart, and goes to put him back together. Pepsicola, Hammertime, DavexJohn.


Another oneshot! This is a DaveXJohn one, this may be a bit sad but yes it gets better! This is a songfic. Hope you like it!

–

It's My Fault and I'm Sorry.

To be honest, Dave never really dealt with Bro's death when it happened, or even after. He was either always busy with saving everyone else or messing up...Or dying...again.

Yeah, normal stuff, Dave guessed.

But right now he wasn't, there was a peaceful halt in the shit-storm that was the Game, and it had given grief enough time to crash the party and smash Dave into tiny pathetic pieces.

He sighed, plucking the strings on his acoustic guitar, absently tuning the strings as he stared into space as he sat atop a high beam he found in the meteor.

Singing was always a way for him to get his emotions out, release all the stress and just let things go, he loved rapping, and mixing beats and making sick songs but sometimes he just had to sing out all the pain. He hadn't had any time until now, because the Game was always hectic and he barely had any time to think about releasing the building hopelessness

Breathing out quietly, he checked the strings again, cleared his throat, pulled his aviators off, setting them down next to him and started tapping a beat.

It stayed quiet for a while, before Dave started playing the guitar, head ducked down for a few seconds before it lifted and he became to sing.

"Weep for yourself, my man,  
You'll never be what is in your heart  
Weep, little lion man,  
You're not as brave as you were at the start  
Rate yourself and rake yourself  
Take all the courage you have left  
And waste it on fixing all the problems that you made in your own head"

Dave hissed out another breath, knuckles burning as he played as fast as he could. Eyes burning with his tears as images of his brother flashed through his head, eyebrows furrowed with concentration.

"But it was not your fault but mine  
And it was your heart on the line  
I really fucked it up this time  
Didn't I, my dear?  
Didn't I, my..."

John had been walking through the meteor, wandering without any destination when he had heard the playing of a guitar, and Dave's voice humming through the halls, merging together into a beautiful melody.

But his gut twisted at the words and emotions coating and staining the music, god, Dave had been oddly quiet but this...This just sounded like pain.

"Tremble for yourself, my man,  
You know that you have seen this all before  
Tremble, little lion man,  
You'll never settle any of your scores  
Your grace is wasted in your face,  
Your boldness stands alone among the wreck  
Now learn from your mother or else spend your days biting your own neck"

John turned a corner and saw Dave, sat up high, tears streaming down pale cheeks as he sung, knuckles bleeding from the force he was exerting needlessly on his strumming, eyes lidded with despair and memories of a past he could never forget weighing them down.

"But it was not your fault but mine  
And it was your heart on the line  
I really fucked it up this time  
Didn't I, my dear?"

John stared up at the crushing sight, to see Dave do this, it reminded him of whenever they held a video chat before they started playing Sburb, and Dave was so emotional and broken he just couldn't keep it in behind the Strider mask, and he shattered in front of John.

The way he vented was always through music, it was how John knew Dave was on the edge, it was why he always asked to see Dave when he wanted to play, because he wanted to make sure Dave didn't trip off the edge and into an abyss John couldn't carry him out of...

For Dave to play without John.

It was obvious to him that he was breaking so much he felt he couldn't go to John.

Pain burned in his chest, twisting and churning as John ducked his head, clenching and twisting the end of his wind-sock like hood as the grief in Dave's voice, which wobbled almost unnoticeably with tears he could not hold back, hit John full force.

He loved Dave, he knew that, and he wanted to be able to comfort him but right now he was frozen staring up at Dave, tears now slipping from his bright blue eyes.

"But it was not your fault but mine  
And it was your heart on the line  
I really fucked it up this time  
Didn't I, my dear?  
Didn't I, my dear?"

Dave slowed in his playing, shifting slightly so he was leaning against the structure he sat against, vision blurred as memories of his brothers devotion and of his demise scorched through his mind, throat burning as he sung with as much emotion and volume as he could manage.

He could feel his fingers become slippery with blood, he was playing with enough force to tear the skin from his knuckles as he did so.

Dave could hear the music in his mind start to pick up the pace, seeing Bro's hands on the guitar speeding up, Dave followed and the music sounding aloud sped up again, cracking open his mouth to sing once more.

"But it was not your fault but mine  
And it was your heart on the line  
I really fucked it up this time  
Didn't I, my dear?"

John whimpered, biting at his hood as he remembered this song, Dave played it the first time he seriously injured his Bro in a strife, piercing him through the shoulder. That day Dave had locked himself up in his room, afraid of the swords he saw around the house and the sight of Bro in a sling, bandages tight around his shoulder.

He never played this song...John's eyes widened, his Bro died protecting him... did Dave...

Blame himself? John's stomach swirled painfully, as the end of the song started to end, slowing down and sinking into melancholy.

"But it was not your fault but mine  
And it was your heart on the line  
I really fucked it up this time  
Didn't I, my dear?  
Didn't I, my dear?"

John instantly flew up as soon as the song ended, sitting next to Dave and placing an arm around Dave's shivering form.

"Dave..."

"Please...don't..." Dave croaked out, placing his guitar down and tucked himself into John.

"It's not your fault Dave..." John soothed, but it only seemed to make him cry harder, burying his head into Johns shoulder and shaking.

"But it is...If I..." Dave's muffled voice shook with guilt and sorrow. "If I was stronger..."

"He would have still protected you..." John said, wrapping his other arm around Dave. "He's your big brother, of course he would do anything to keep you safe..."

Dave shook his head as much as he could in John's grasp. "No...no he shouldn't have I should have-" John shook him roughly, tears welling in his eyes as he raised a hand to grip Dave's chin and gently raise it so his red eyes would meet John's blues.

"If he hadn't you wouldn't be here and everything would have gone wrong and-" John whimpered, tears tracking down his cheeks again, Dave's eyes widened. "I wouldn't have you here and it would be so much worse...Dave I couldn't survive this game without you." John sobbed, wrapping his arms tightly back around Dave, you was stiff with shock.

"John...man...I'm so-" Dave started, but was interrupted again.

"I love you." John spat out, before gaping as he realised what he had just said. " I mean- Uhm, I! Ah- well..." Dave shifted to stare at John, who was beet red and was looking anywhere but at him.

"I love you as well...silly Egderp..." Dave chuckled weakly, kissing John chastely then smiling. "You are adorkable."

"Daaaave!" John whined, before moaning softly as his lips were caught again in Dave's.

The kiss lasted longer this time, before John broke gasping breaths while Dave was breathing normally.

"Thanks...John." Dave said quietly, entwining their hands and kissing John's nose.

"Anything for you Dave."

–

I LOVE SONGFICS. I just realised.

I'm gunna do a ton of them around my longer stories.

Might even do a long story with a ton of singing.

Who knows, I'm enjoying thiiis :

Hope you liked it!

The song was Mumford and Sons Little Lion Man. Love Mumford and Sons, lovely band hope you've heard of him before.

Review, rate, favourite, constructive criticism is very much appreciated, I do want to improve hehehe.

However flames are used to light my fireworks.

Alkoi~


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